American Horror Story: Exercise

Rare footage of my soul when I workout:

This girl is my true spirit animal. I need to find her; there are so many questions. What did she think Cross Country meant? Why is she doing this to herself? Did she finish? Is she still a runner? Does she like Supernatural as much as I do? That last one is just to find someone besides me who actually watches that show. Anyway…

I really don’t love to exercise. I never have. People always say, “Oh, you don’t like getting sweaty.” No. That’s not it at all. That’s the least of my issues. My problem is that I just don’t like it. My brother and I once ran into a friend who looked…busted as hell disheveled. I asked what she had been up to, and her response was that she had just finished a 10 mile run (in the rain). My response was, “Don’t.” That doesn’t even make sense, I know. But that was the only word that came to my mind. Run=Don’t. My brother still laughs about that.

Exercise is a whole thing. You need to make time for it, dress for it, warm up, do it, cool down, plan meal times around it, buy apps and gadgets so you can tell people on Facebook you did it. Come on. If you think you burned 1200 calories on a 5 mile run, because that’s what Google told you…gurl. Here’s the horror story part: You HAVE to exercise! Being active is so freaking important for your body, that there’s no way around it! Increased metabolism, the release of positive mood boosting hormones, better sleep at night….not having a muffin top, are just a few of the positive effects. My message today isn’t all screaming and terror, though. There are ways to exercise that won’t give you nightmares or make you throw around contractions that make no sense; you just have to find what works for YOU. Like everything in life, what works for one person will not work for another. I have had surgeries on both of my feet, so running and high impact activities are absolutely NOT healthy for me. I’ve tried in the past, and after a month I earn myself a 6 month stint in Physical Therapy. No running….check! I’m also lucky enough to have herniated discs and cysts in my lower back, so I don’t have to do squats or lunges, either! Score. I am the winner of life. #blessed

What I do love to do is take long walks with my main puppy girl, Scout. These aren’t slow walks on flat sidewalks. We definitely get our heart rates up and I do sweat…even in winter. I also really love Pilates and Yoga, and I actually like lifting. I am incredibly lucky to have a Pilates reformer and a full set of weights and a cage at home. Spoiler alert: I detest going to the gym! This is what works for me. I can not do something over and over again for months at a time. I lose interest, and give up…not my best quality. I actually just began PiYo on Monday. I’ve done the workouts sporadically, but have never followed the workout schedule. We’ll see how I feel about it in 2 months when I’m, “finished.”

You don’t have to run, spin, or do yoga to be active. Walk, dance, play a sport, golf….the point is, you have to move.  I feel as though exercise is like skiing: You have to start doing it when you’re a toddler, or you will hate it and suck at it. So, move with your mini’s. Encourage family walks/runs/dance parties/yoga sessions. 30 minutes goes by in a flash, and you’ll feel better knowing that you did something for yourself and for your child’s health. YouTube has so many free workouts. You could do something new each time. Start slow with just 2-3 days a week. Every minute counts!

In summation…if you see me running, there is most likely something terrifying happening; so please, help me.

imagesI am obsessed with sugar skulls. Still trying to find a movie that will leave me sleepless and creeped out!!! You’ve got 2 days, people!


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